I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
