I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
