Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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