She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
