On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
