No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
