just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
