I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
