hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
