I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
