Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
