i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
