I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize