Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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