Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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