Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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