just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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