Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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