I just cut my nipple shaving
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
