i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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