So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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