Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize