the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
