She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
