Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
