Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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