KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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