in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
