some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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