I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
