you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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