Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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