how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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