It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
