Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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