Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can't turn off my feet"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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