i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
