a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
