Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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