Pants 0. Shit 1.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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