what day is it and did you see me today?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
