im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
