Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm always down for nudity.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
