I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
