Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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