Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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