There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
