32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
