Her vagina should come with caution tape.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
