I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
