i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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