Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
