help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize