I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
