He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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