He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We're not piercing ourselves today.
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