that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
