I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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