I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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