I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
