are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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