he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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