What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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