there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize