No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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