Banned from zoo.
Again?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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