I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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