4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
