We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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