It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize