we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
